Happy Mother's Day.

So three times today I nearly burst into tears. I love my mom so much. She did everything for my sister and me. I hope she knew how great of a mom she was. I was such a brat. Always telling her I hated her when I was a teenager. I'd storm into my bedroom, stomping on those stairs as hard as I could, and then slam the door. I sucked. And the last time we spoke...well, that's reason I cried once today. Not that I told her I hated her. But I rushed off the phone. She was giving me a hard time about a pair of denim capri pants. Denim capri pants can be awesome, mom. And then, a few weeks later...heart attack.

Tried not to get bitter today. Allowed myself to be sad, and jealous of my BF, whose momma is still alive, and who we're living with while he's in nursing school. Winced at all the "Buy a Mother's Day gift" ads I got in my email from 1-800-Flowers.com. But then I became immune to it. Today, when I went on FB, I didn't even mind seeing all the Happy Mother's Day messages. Happy Mother's Day indeed.

It's so easy to get jaded when we lose something...You just have to allow yourself to feel all the crazies you're going to feel. I don't know how you do that. Maybe the best thing you can do is not judge yourself for your crazies.

I say you...but I mean me.